absolutely no pork

From a work e-mail today…

A coworker’s son recently shipped out to Afghanistan for a year-long tour. The coworker e-mailed and asked if anyone would be interested in donating items for him and his troop. The list was lengthy and pretty standard, containing items such as Easy Mac, pretzels, Twizzlers, toothpaste, etc. At the bottom of the message were the items that are not accepted. Some of them made me laugh:

  • Pressurized items
  • Chocolate or anything that can melt
  • Pornographic material
  • Alcohol
  • Religious Material
  • Anything that contains PORK
  • No WAR type materials or toys

OK, maybe it was just the PORK that made me laugh. And the juxtaposition of vices and virtues. And the capitalization of “Religious Material.”

I’ll try to refrain from sending off my chocolate-covered SPAM Jesus figurine. He’s nude, toting an uzi and stored inside a whipped-cream canister. Suspended in Jack Daniels.

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