the turning of a heart

I don’t really have time to write at the moment, but I’m doing it anyway, before I forget what this feels like. I know part of it is just that I’m seeing familiar faces for the first time since Christmas, but seeing my sister and her family is just amazingly powerful for me. They drove 13 hours from Michigan loaded down with a camper, two large dogs, three bikes and their 10 year old in tow. They came to Memphis, of all places. And while my sister mentioned that it’s just nice going somewhere they’ve never been, Memphis isn’t exactly a tourist attraction—my presence here clearly played a role in their choice of destination. Which is almost surreal to me. To think that anyone—let alone my older sister—would drive all the way to the Mid-South to spend Easter weekend with me is just… beyond words.

I’m an awkward person. I’ll be the first to admit that. So I don’t think my thankfulness translates very well when we’re face to face. I’m definitely smiling and upbeat, but I doubt I come across as bowled over. Because when I went there at lunch today and ate a PB&J, generic Cheetos and a glass of milk, I couldn’t have been more thankful. Even with a wet dog nose stuffed in my armpit while I ate my sandwich.

In about an hour, they’ll be coming over to DU for a quick tour of the lobby and my office before we close early for the Easter holiday. Then we’ll be finding a local pizza place… somewhere… and hanging out for the evening. I still remember the days of old when we’d do that very thing, in one of their various condos or another, watching “Friends” before it was in reruns, listening to awesome ’90s easy listening. We’d almost always have pizza. And everything felt safe and wonderful. I miss that feeling.

I know my sister doesn’t know this blog exists, but thank you, sis. I’ll say it more than once this weekend, and probably several more times through e-mail after you’ve left, but thank you for coming here, for making such a long trip to see me. For the e-mails we’ve exchanged over the past month, for your willingness to give me another chance to be your sister, to be part of your family. I may not deserve that chance, but if you’re willing to give it… well, I won’t let you down. Thank you for being there for me, then, now and in the future.

[I wrote a very brief synopsis of the reasons behind my strained relationship with my sister on April 6.]

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Filed under generosity, happiness, love, thoughts

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