flashback: summer 2002

How is it that I’m walking around with another wound between my eyes? It takes me back so clearly to May 2002, my first day of summer classes at MSU and my bike accident behind the EB. I was on my way to the State News office to apply for a receptionist position I’d seen in the classifieds, knowing full well that I’d hate being a recep, but also that I’d do anything to wriggle into their office at some level or another. (Funny how I think about that and the fact that I never joined the staff. I tried once more to become a copy editor, but I got shot down.)

Moments after leaving Comm Arts, I face planted in the dirt and fractured my nose. I remember there was a lot of blood, but my overwhelming need before washing my face was to lock my bike so no one would ride off on it while I went inside to tend to my soil-filled wounds. A few days later, I was walking around swollen with a band-aid between my eyes, looking like I’d had a nose job. A few months later, I still bore the bright red scar of that accident. When my blood pressure is high now, or when I’m blushing deeply, I can still see the scar clearly.

Now I get to add a little more scar tissue on top of that.

RP’s dog bit me last night. I’ve now decided it was equal parts RP’s fault and mostly my fault, but not really the dog’s, and definitely not RP’s. The dog is 10 and probably felt threatened by me because I was outside her peripheral vision and had my face close to hers. I was going to give her a kiss on the side of the head (of all things!) and she turned and bit me between the eyes. RP & I had been drinking, so it took him a minute to register what had happened. I couldn’t feel much besides that general “trauma” feeling in my nose, but got up and fled inside. He followed me in demanding to see my face, but I just kept walking, not wanting him to make a big deal out of it. Because it didn’t hurt, it took me till I got to a mirror to realize it was bleeding. Gash between the eyes, scrapes on one side of the nose. I don’t think she would’ve done any further damage, but I know it could’ve been much, much worse.

The most terrible part was RP’s reaction. On one hand, I’m glad he cared and I’m glad he didn’t beat his dog within an inch of her life, but I also felt really guilty that he was so upset about it. He was pacing around and felt like he had to keep checking to see if I was OK, if I needed anything. I’ve never been offered seconds on dinner so many times in my life – not even by my grandma! I appreciated it though. We tried to watch “Unforgiven,” and I actually made it through to the moment where Eastwood shot Hackman, but then the DVD stopped playing, RP woke up from his snore-filled slumber with a bad headache and the night was over. Not the ideal evening, but still OK.

This week is bad again though. I had hoped that another Monday would provide a fresh start for that list of 5 people who suffered last week. Not so. One is presumably still in jail. Another confirmed that she, too, is having another bad week. Not sure about #3. I can bet #4 is stressed with his two jobs and tons of work to do at all hours of the day. And #5 – me – is still on the Suck Train. I know tomorrow’s going to hold a lot of working on a PowerPoint presentation for someone, which I’m absolutely dreading. I don’t work with PP much at all, so I’m not going to know how to do anything, but he and my boss think I know what I’m doing. Ha! It’s going to be terrible. And it’s just growing ever more apparent how hectic August is going to be, leading up to the start of Opening Day. I cannot wait until Aug. 29. I cannot wait to go home to my friends and family. Even if things get 100% better between now and then, I’m aching to be home and see my house and sleep in my bed and hug my mom. Sad that it takes a couple weeks of moodiness and despair to get me to that point, but I’m definitely there.

I had a very awkward lunch with two coworkers from the communications department today. I felt so guilty being quiet the whole time. I’m just not a talker, esp. with people I don’t know and/or who make me nervous. It would’ve been fine had it been one of them, but not both. We had noodle soup at the Asian Grill on Farmington, alternatively known as “Jimmy’s.” The owner is a DU supporter and apparently the bigwigs frequent his establishment. He has several Sealed Bid Auction paintings on his walls, ducks in flight contrasting sharply with Asian ambiance. Kind of fun and kitschy. Still, though, today convinced me that I need to talk more. About what, I’m not sure. But something. Being a listener isn’t always best.

I am also making an effort to befriend another coworker. You know, spread myself around a bit so I’m not relying on the ever-burdened RP to be my only friend. We’ll see if my efforts result in anything. Hopefully. I’d like to branch out a little…

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