zombie weekend

It seems like people at work are in some sort of post-Easter funk. Does that happen?

Since the flood and the oven door, I’ve also experienced some electrical weirdness and a boil-water advisory for a tiny section of Ann Arbor that includes my apartment. Could it get any better? Now that my landlord has started the process of tinkering with the electrical outlet in the bathroom, I have no power to that room or my bedroom. I have to wait for an electrician to come out and address the situation, since it’s outside my landlord’s skill set. Under normal circumstances, if I were living here long-term, I would say, “OK, whatever,” but I’m not. And while I do like to be fairly safe from electrical fires, can’t it wait? I’m not going to get a moment’s peace between now and May 31; I can just feel it. =( Ho hum.

It really is true that being out of shape and not participating in physical activity kills your sex drive. I never had much of one before I started dating Tod, and even though I chalk up a large portion of my passion to him, it also had to do with the fact that I was working out constantly. Once I stopped and moved to AA, the desire died. It comes back in fits and starts, but nothing solid, nothing ongoing. I’m tired all the time, feel self conscious all over again and find myself firmly entrenched in the strangling darkness of a bottomless pit. Is it really that dramatic? Believe it or not, it is. I know I shouldn’t have to move back home and join the CCHHWC to get back in shape, but that’s the only way I know how. Tiny steps don’t work for me. It’s either all or nothing. I need an elliptical and a wide variety of weight machines and a lap pool and a stretching area. I need access to spinning classes and yoga mats and personal trainers. I shouldn’t, but I do! And even though it will mean paying a $200 startup fee come June 1, I still want to do it; it’s not a flexible situation any longer.

Easter weekend went fine, I suppose. It was really nice having Friday off to spend with Tod. We tried to play Baldur’s Gate together, but that didn’t work out, so we played on my NES instead. After dinner with his parents, all of us minus his dad decorated Easter cookies. As at Christmas, Tod and I tried to come up with as many alternate uses for the generic cookie shapes as possible. The rabbits (which definitely didn’t look like rabbits because of their tiny dwarf ears) were turned into a fish, frog, seahorse, strawberry, etc. I made a flower out of a cross and a hatching chick out of a plain egg. Good times. =) The drive home that night was awful, but I made it within an hour and didn’t encounter too much trouble.

Sunday, the family came over for dinner. It went all right, but I don’t plan to do it again for a long while, probably not until I have someone else to help me host, so I don’t feel like I’m relying on my mom to keep me sane while everything (even the innocent stuff) grates on my nerves. Sigh. I could do without holidays sometimes.

Also a constant topic of conversation when my family is around… jobs. I don’t have anything in mind right now aside from getting back in shape and increasing my hours with my second job. Even though I want to find a real job and head in one direction or another, I’m OK not knowing for now. I don’t plan to leech off my mom forever, or even for very long, but I will be for a little while. I’ve gotten used to that idea, and I’m sticking with it for now. I hate talking about jobs with people who aren’t even really linked to me, who I don’t talk to on a regular basis, who don’t know what other questions to ask besides, “How’s the job hunt coming? Do you have any prospects?”

I suggested to a coworker that we hang out tonight, but I don’t think I’m in the mood anymore. How to wiggle my way out of that… hmm…

Have a good week, friends.

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Filed under health, jobs, recap

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